Burden of the Heart


The phone rang for a third time in about two minutes and just as the two previous times; he let it ring without picking the call. It was not for fear of what to say or lack of believable excuses because right then he has a genuine reason for not making it to their rendezvous; it went deeper than that.

The only thing more frustrating than being caught in the after work traffic, like he was right now, was him running late for an early morning appointment but having to turn the apartment over searching for his mobile handset which was to serve as the only communication link to his destination.

Not that there was lack of physical attraction because on the looks scale, she was a stunning beauty; the type you dream about during an afternoon nap only to wake up with an embarrassing sticky liquid on the front of your boxer shorts. Her beauty did not stop the accelerated heartbeats, choky and panicky feelings that enveloped him each time their discussions moved from the professional and towards the personal realms.

It was obvious she was attracted to him; and so were many of the opposite gender. Who wouldn’t be? Rich and handsome with that smile that can make ladies want to forgive almost any sin. But behind that beautiful façade laid a heart in pains, the kind of pains you feel when you suddenly find out that you had wasted four years of your life.

Four years of being lied to, four years of illusion, of fantasizing a blissful life with someone you thought you were meant for each other. You were the envy of friends because they thought you had what they don’t have but longed for; and in a pompous manner, you believed them.

It took one night for all to come crashing down. All the signs were there, but to him she could do no wrong. The rumors were just mere rumors. That is what love does; it sometimes leads to loss of sense of reasoning.

He really hated his ex for the wasted years of him giving emotionally and financially to someone who only pretended to know the meaning of love; or maybe she knew but it was for someone else.

The moment he found out she was having a baby and it wasn’t his, a light went out in his heart and it became void. She became the draught that quenched the burning flame of love and plunged his heart into darkness.

He really hated her because she was the poisoned chalice that succeeded in killing love and turned him into a mere shell that is incapable of loving.

The loud cursing and honking from the drivers behind jolted him out of his reminisce and as he moved the car forward, he made up his mind to level with her the next day about his past. Maybe he may love again in the future if the right person comes along, but right now it is too soon to forget.